Have you ever found yourself doubtful, not knowing if what you were doing was right or not, especially after listening to someone else’s opinion and advice?
As a result, you may have chosen to please someone else and done what the people around you expected you to do, not what you wanted.
Maybe, like me, you have always aspired to start your own business, paving the way to escape the rat race and live life on your own terms.
Yet, your parents, relatives, friends, or partners said you were too naive.
They came up with what they considered the reasons - I would say excuses - why investing in yourself and starting your own business was insane.
You may have been told:
“Why should you leave a permanent job for something uncertain? You don’t have any experience, how could you ever start something on your own? You have studied for so many years, you got a degree, it is silly of you to want to change your path. The world is facing a downturn, you will get into debt and you will fail”.
The list goes on and on, but I think you got my point.
You have been brainwashed from the start!
So, you have most likely given up on your desire to start your own business.
You kept the job you are not passionate about.
How does it feel to keep working for someone else forty or even more hours a week, building your boss’s dreams while you are neglecting yours?
Probably you are fed up with overworking, barely making ends meet, and not having enough time for what you love doing.
As a result, you feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
Eventually, these feelings will affect the people around you too, if it has not happened already.
So, if you try to please everyone, you please no one.
You set yourself up to live a life that you don’t want, one that will fit with what others expect of you.
When you do what other people advise you to do, you get their approval, but at what price?
As humans, we tend to avoid other people’s disapproval, especially if it is from people who are important to us.
So, we tend to do what they advise and want us to do, even when they are not experienced in what we would like to do.
Way too often this comes at the expense of knowing who we are and what matters to us.
Let me stress what I stated above through the following inspirational story.
A MAN, HIS SON, AND THEIR DONKEY
Once upon a time, a man, his son, and their donkey were on their way to the market.
They were walking along the road and the donkey was following them.
After a while a countryman passed by them and shouted out:
“You fools! What is a donkey for, but to ride upon?”
The man looked at the boy and the boy looked at the man and they both said:
“Well, he's right!”, so the man put his son on the donkey and they continued their journey.
A little while later they passed a group of men, one of whom said aloud to his peers:
“Look at that lazy young man. He allows his old father to walk in this heat while he rides on the donkey, he should be ashamed”.
The man looked at the boy and the boy looked at the man and they both said:
“Well, he's right!”, so the man told his son to climb down and he took over from him riding the donkey.
They had not traveled much further when they passed two women, one of whom pointed at the man and shouted at him:
“Lazy peasant! How can you let your son trudge while you rest on the donkey”?
The man looked at the boy and the boy looked at the man and they both said:
“Well, she’s right!”, so the man held out his hand to help his son climb on the donkey so they could both travel comfortably.
Finally, they arrived at the market.
While they were wandering among the stalls, they heard people mocking them and whispering: “How mean of them! Overloading their tired donkey”.
The man looked at the boy and the boy looked at the man and they both said:
“Well, they are right!”, so the man and his son got off and started racking their brains till they came up with an idea.
“Why don’t we use a pole to carry the donkey?”, the man asked.
Then, he went on: “We can tie its feet to the pole and carry the poor animal on our shoulders”.
“Let’s go for it!”, the boy replied.
A little while later, one of the donkey’s feet got loose.
The donkey kicked off causing the boy to drop his end of the pole.
The animal broke free of the pole and ran as fast as a donkey could run and never came back.
A man who was on the same journey and had witnessed all the decisions the father and the son had made told them:
“Hope you learned the lesson. If you try to please everyone you please no one”!
FINAL THOUGHTS
Like in the story, the bystanders who tell you what you should do, don’t directly face and live with any of the consequences of their words.
You are the one who must deal with the outcomes that come from the choices you make.
What will you do?
Will you keep moving in the direction of your dreams?
Or, will you stop and listen to everything everyone has to say ending up living someone else’s life?
“Many people allow their need for other people’s approval to control their lives. They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them”. - Rick Warren
It's not easy to walk alone, face the disapproval of other people, above all from your loved ones.
But, if you keep going and stay true to yourself, it will be worth it in the end.
The hardest walk you can make is the walk you make alone, but that is the walk that makes you stronger and develops your self-confidence too.
That is the walk that builds your character.
If you are walking alone, going against the grain, battling the naysayers to pursue what matters to you, whether it is a business adventure, a relationship, a diet, or whatsoever, stay strong and keep going.
Those who follow others like sheep never know who they truly are.
Only those who follow their own path can discover what they are capable of and make the most out of their life.
This solitary walk you are on might be hard, but the hardest walks are the ones that lead to the greatest destinations.
The toughest climbs always lead to the best views!
If you are persistent and stay true to yourself, it is only a matter of time and then the right people will show up in your life and you won’t walk alone anymore.
It doesn’t matter if you have to walk alone for a while.
It is much better to walk alone in the right direction, i.e. chasing your dreams, than to follow the herd walking in the wrong direction, i.e. far away from what makes you feel alive.
It's better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction”. - Diane Grant
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