worried man with fist against his head


During our life we ​​can find ourselves facing moments that seem unbearable - a divorce, an unexpected emergency, an economic failure, a dismissal, you name it. What do we usually do under these circumstances? We tend to come up with negative hasty conclusions. We only see the bad side of the situation, we forget that every cloud has a silver lining! 

Only in hindsight - when all the pieces of the puzzle are in place - can we look at things in perspective and realize why something happened. Only then do things start making sense to us.

“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future”. - Steve Jobs


person with a cloud instead of his head represents concept of mental fog

Till you are inside a situation and you don’t have an overall view of it, you cannot grasp the essence of what is happening.

Your negative hasty conclusions cloud your objectivity.

In itself, nothing you experience is absolutely "positive" or "negative".

It all lies in the type of attitude you maintain towards a situation and in the meaning you decide to attribute to it. 

Over time, this meaning transforms, showing you the matter in a completely different light. 

This is why you need to stop any form of negative hasty conclusions about what happens in your life.

The mechanism is similar to when you play the game in which you have to connect a series of dots to be able to define the contours of a certain image.

If you have ever tried it, you know that at first, observing that chaotic set of dots, it is difficult to guess the image that lies behind it.

Only after joining a lot of dots does the image begin to take shape so that you can, at last, recognize what it is. 

Often, it is the same with what you experience in your life.

Only in time can you have the overall picture and appreciate the importance of everything you have experienced. Only then can you understand that everything - both “positive and negative” - contributed to your growth and improvement.

“Just as the tumultuous chaos of a thunderstorm brings a nurturing rain that allows life to flourish, so too in human affairs times of advancement are preceded by times of disorder. Success comes to those who can weather the storm”. - I Ching 


pear tree

There once was a man with four sons.

He wanted to teach them not to come to hasty conclusions, and not to give up on faith too soon.

So, he sent each one in turn to observe a pear tree.  

The first son went in the Winter, the second in the Spring, the third in the Summer, and the youngest one in Autumn.

When all of them paid their visit to the tree, the father asked his sons to describe what they had seen.

“The tree was ugly, bent, and twisted”, said the first son. 

“Are you teasing me?”, the second son asked, and then he carried on, “The tree was covered with fresh green buds and seemed so promising”.

Disagreeing with his two brothers, the third son said, “The tree was full of blossoms, smelled so sweet, and looked so gracious. It is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life”!

“You are all wrong!”, the youngest son said.

He then went on, “Father, the tree was ripe and drooping with pears; it was full of life and abundance. 

“Dear sons, all of you are right because each one of you has seen only one season in the life of the tree”, the father replied.

That was the lesson he wanted to convey to them - one cannot judge a tree or even oneself by only one season - by only one phase of their life. 

The essence of who they are can only be measured at the end of the year when all the seasons have passed.

“If you decide to give up during the Winter you'll miss the promise of a new life that comes with the Spring, the beauty and warmth of the Summer, and the fulfillment of the Autumn.

Do not let the pain and challenges of one season of your life destroy the joy of the rest. Don’t judge life by one tough season, endure difficulties with faith and better times will come”, the father concluded.


If you are in the Winter season of your life, dealing with challenges, remember the ancient Indian proverb:

“Life is a continuous cycle, always in motion - if the good times pass, so will the bad times”.

The bad moments pass exactly like the good ones, even if they seem to last longer.

Whatever season you are experiencing right now, things shall pass.

Learn to put things in perspective to avoid coming to hasty negative conclusions.

If you negatively label an experience when you are still living it, it will be very difficult to grasp the overall picture and, consequently, the profound meaning behind it.

Hard times are often blessings in disguise. Let go and let life strengthen you. No matter how much it hurts, hold your head up and keep going. This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a rough day, a bad month, or a crappy year. Truth be told, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your spirit needs most. Your past was never a mistake if you learned from it. So take all the crazy experiences and lessons and place them in a box labeled “Thank You”. - Manisha Shrestha Bundela

Before you go, I invite you to reflect on three situations you have experienced and labeled negative, but in hindsight, have turned out to be useful for your personal growth and improvement.

Let me know your conclusions in the comments below😉

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Christian Caliendo
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