“THE ENVIRONMENT WE GREW UP LAY THE FOUNDATION OF OUR IRRATIONAL FEARS”

When I first came across this statement, I was quite doubtful about it, but then I looked back to my childhood.

Whenever my teachers asked the class a question, I was hesitant to raise my hand to answer it.

I guess YOU also experienced the same uneasiness.

Why were we so scared of expressing our ideas, points of view even if we had studied the subject and we knew a lot about it?

I believe that was due to previous experiences!

At the beginning of my “school career” for instance, I was eager to answer the teachers’ questions.

But after my teachers told me off because I had given the “wrong answer”, something started to change within me.

Instead of being encouraged to express my ideas, I was reprimanded.

Since that moment, I had become hesitant to accept my teacher's invitation to speak in front of my mates.

I felt my points of view were neglected and like I was making a fool of myself in front of my peers.

All my certainties started to crumble and so did my confidence.

What was rising unconsciously within me was the fear of judgment of my school mates.

Did YOU experience these feelings?

I used to sidestep situations that would expose me to someone else’s judgment for all my childhood.

The messages I grew up with were:

  • YOU HAD BETTER NOT SAY YOUR OPINION!
  • YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO MAKE MISTAKES!
  • MISTAKES EQUAL FAILURES!
  • FAILURES ARE BAD AND YOU SHOULD AVOID THEM!
  • DON’T TRY ANYTHING NEW, SO YOU CANNOT FAIL!
  • IF YOU DON’T FAIL ANYBODY WILL CONSIDER YOU A FAILURE!

I used to think that if I tried something NEW and I failed I would be rejected, hurt, judged.

And I would let down people around me, especially my parents.

My subconscious conditioning determined my thinking.

This way of thinking prevented me from embracing many opportunities.

Once I became AWARE of it, I decided to dissociate myself from the limiting beliefs that people had passed on to me.

I started doing things that I had never done before and of course, I failed tons of times.

It was so painful at the beginning and it could not have been different considering that I was not used to failing.

Little did I know that becoming aware of what was holding me back would be the springboard for my personal development.

It was one of the greatest teachings I’ve ever received.

I’ve learned that only through failure YOU can achieve success.

Only when YOU make mistakes can YOU learn from them and correct what YOU did wrong to step forward and improve.

Only when YOU fall can YOU choose whether to give up or to get up and reach your target.

Have YOU ever experienced failure when YOU were pursuing something really important to YOU, and the people YOU considered role models (teachers, relatives, society, and your parents) came up saying:

“We told YOU not to do it!”?

Did their words stop YOU from carrying on?

If so, YOU know how frustrating it is to stop pursuing your goals.

YOU gave more importance to what the role models told YOU rather than to your true desire to achieve your goals!

If YOU are still held back from doing something YOU would like to start, I invite YOU to ask yourself:

  • “What kind of limiting belief and fear is holding me back?”.
  • “Where do this belief and fear come from?”.

By becoming conscious about what is blocking YOU from taking action will be the first step of your change.

YOU can see that much of what shapes who YOU have become, comes from other people's beliefs and information.

Knowing it, YOU can choose to get rid of any belief and way of being that's not supporting your personal growth.

YOU can dissociate from the old program installed in YOU.

YOU can start changing your inner dialogue which will lead to different actions and results!

Let’s say that YOU are procrastinating something.

And YOU realize that YOU are being stopped by the fear of letting some of your loved ones down or by the fear of judgment.

YOU could ask yourself:

  • “Are the people I love convinced that I shouldn’t try or are they in turn conditioned by the same messages given by school and society?”.
  • “How will the people I love look at me, once I have achieved my goals?”.
  • “Do the people that I don’t know care if I fail in doing something?”.
  • Do YOU agree that the main failure happens when YOU don’t even try or when YOU give up?

If so, stop allowing your irrational fears to hold YOU back.

Do whatever it takes to achieve your DREAMS, even if it implies fatigue, pain, and falls along your journey.

Remember, PAIN is temporary, REGRET lasts a lifetime!

YOU will be the only one who can choose not to give up!

Remember what Thomas Edison said:

“I have not failed. I’ve found 10,000 ways that won’t work”. - Thomas Edison

Christian Caliendo
Christian Caliendo

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