who you spend most of your time with reveals who you become


Tell me who you spend most of your time with, and I’ll tell you who you are likely to become.

In this post, we are going to explore WHY you must select the people you surround yourself with to live life to the fullest.

Whether you are aware of it or not, the people you spend most of your time with influence your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and outcomes.

This means that if you are around people who have low standards there’s a good chance they’ll pull you down.

Fortunately, the opposite is also true, thus, when you surround yourself with high achievers, there’s a good chance they’ll lift you up. 

Pause a moment to think about it.

If you are around people who smoke, are you more likely to become a smoker or a no-smoker?

If you are around people who are negative all the time, are you more likely to become pessimistic or optimistic?

If you are around people who complain, are you more likely to become a complainer or someone who takes full responsibility for their lives?

If you are around people who eat junk food, are you more likely to opt for a Big Mac or a healthy dish?

What I would like you to think about are the negative implications that may arise from the above influences and behaviors.

If you are a smoker you increase your risk of developing serious health conditions and you look older than you actually are.

If you are pessimistic you live life as a burden instead of a wonderful gift.

If you are a complainer you believe that you cannot do anything to improve your life. As a result, you do not take action and keep feeling miserable and hopeless.

Bottom Line: The people you surround yourself with are one of the biggest influences on your thoughts, emotions, behavior, and results.

“The person you will be in five years depends largely on the information you feed your mind today. Be picky about the books you read, the people you spend your time with, and the conversations you engage in”. - Ruben Chavez

Research has shown how the environment we are in influences us more than we actually think.

According to Dr. David McClelland, a Harvard social psychologist:

 “The people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”

Now, you may be a rare bird! 

You may hang out with smokers and never smoke a cigarette in your life.

You may surround yourself with depressed people and yet be bursting with happiness from all pores.

You may socialize only with complainers and be the most responsible person everyone has ever met.

You may spend most of your time with Big Mac eaters and follow a strict healthy diet.

However, how likely is it?

The more you spend time with pessimistic people who have low standards, the more likely you are to spiral down.

“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people”. - Joel Osteen

Here are a few questions to help you realize if the people you spend most of your time with are a good fit for you or not:

  • “Are they the kind of person I want to become?
  • Do they see the glass half-empty or half-full?
  • Do they invest in themselves and look for challenges?
  • Have they achieved the results I am looking for”?

Pay attention to the people you hang out with! You don’t want them to pull you down.

Let me stress the above concept through the following eye-opening story.


cartoon of a bucket full of crabs
cartoon of a bucket full of crabs

On one sunny afternoon, a man was observing a group of crabs in a bucket.

The crabs were squirming at the bottom.

However, now and then, one crab climbed the edge to reach the top and get out of the bucket.

But each time it made its way closer to the brim, the fellow crabs from below reached up and pulled it back down. 

Then, another crab climbed the edge, and again, the crabs from the bottom drew it down.

If there were one crab in a bucket, it would crawl its way out and go off back into the water.

Yet, when there are many crabs in a bucket, as one tries to climb the edge, the others will pull it back down.

They will break its arms so that it will share the same fate.


silhouettes of sad and hopeless people
silhouettes of sad and hopeless people

Do you ever feel that someone in your life is holding you back?

Do you ever feel like the crab in the bucket?

Now, the crabs you are surrounding yourself with, might not break your arms, but they might break your spirit!

They might not kill you, but they might kill your dreams! 

It’s a fact of life that some people hold us back from living our best life, while others propel us forward. 

It’s just the way it is!

So, get rid of the negative crabs that crowd into your environment - the bucket - and bring you down.

Search for supportive and positive people that lift you up and help you climb the bucket instead so that the open sea is yours to discover.

You deserve to get out of the disempowering environment you might have ended up in and find an empowering one so that you can live life to the fullest.

Permit yourself to live your dream life, step into your full potential by surrounding yourself with people who strive for excellence.

cartoon of superheros
cartoon of Superheroes

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself”. ― Edmund Lee

Strive to be around people who choose learning, and growing instead of entertainment and distraction - delayed gratification rather than instant gratification

Look for people who choose to have a walk in nature instead of wasting time in front of a black mirror.

Search for people for whom personal development is their bread and butter. 

The road that leads to an incredibly fulfilling life is waiting for you, provided you are around high-achievers. 

They hold you accountable to higher standards, so you can discover your full potential.

The person you are likely to be like will be a reflection of the people you hang around with the most.

“You are the average of five people you spend the most time with”. - Jim Rohn

“Misery loves company”; likewise “success loves company”.

It’s your responsibility now!

Will you choose to be around people who strive for excellence or mediocrity?

As the proverb goes: “If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas”.


You become who you surround yourself with.

Every time you have doubts about yourself, every time you question your journey towards your goals, look at the people you spend most of your time with, and make sure you are not in the wrong bucket! 

More resources for YOU:

Christian Caliendo
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