people worried about something

WHY BEING WORRIED IS NOT WORTH

Whether you are experiencing great success (whatever success means to you) or you are in the middle of a storm and life is hitting you hard, this post is for you.

Let me ask you:

How do you feel most of your days?

Do you worry, or do you feel happy? Do you hold a grudge or do you smile?

child holding a grudge vs child smiling

Regardless of what’s going on in our lives, we have always the privilege to choose either to screw ourselves up or to feel good about our lives.

It all comes down to how we respond to life circumstances.

Two people can look at the same event from different angles and respond to it differently.

One person focuses only on the dark side and as a result, feels bad. 

The other person instead focuses on the silver lining in the cloud, and as a result, feels good.

Our focus has tremendous power and we are in charge of it, at any given time.

By choosing what to focus our attention on, we consequently choose what kind of emotions and feelings to elicit.

To put it in another way, our attitude towards what’s going on in our lives conditions how we feel about ourselves.

Whether things go smoothly, according to our plans, or whether the shit hits the fan, everything goes unexpectedly, one thing is certain: NOTHING LASTS FOREVER!

“The only constant in life is change” - Heraclitus

As night follows day and vice versa, so a tough situation follows an easy one and vice versa.

In other words, there are no ups without downs and there are no downs without ups.

Being aware that nothing is permanent is healthier than remaining emotionally anchored to a specific situation and emotion, especially if it is a disempowering one.

Furthermore, it keeps us on track towards our goals. Why should we give up when the shit hits the fan if we know that it’s temporary, and sooner or later everything will be fine?

Why should we hold a grudge, instead of smiling in the face of challenges?

“Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom”. - Jim Rohn

Life is fleeting, short, and unpredictable, so, is it worth being stressed and worried for most of it?

When you are faced with dark periods, remember they are not ever-lasting! After the storm comes a calm!

Don’t allow tough times to ruin your day and even worse to stop your journey towards your goals.

So please, if you are experiencing a challenging time, think twice before giving up.

It’s easy to feel happy and successful when everything goes smoothly and according to plan, isn’t it? 

Yet, it’s not that kind of circumstances that prove to us how mature and successful we are. 

It’s during tough times that the opportunity to shape our lives shows up.

It’s during tough times that we can grow and learn how to deal with future dark moments.

Life and business is like the changing seasons. You cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself. Therein lies the opportunity to live an extraordinary life, the opportunity to change yourself”. - Jim Rohn

Never give up, have faith, believe in yourself, and put one foot in front of the other and a challenge, a temporary failure sooner or later will become the next success, a tough time will become a time of celebration.

Even in the face of inescapable defeat, always remind yourself that nothing lasts forever.

Don't allow yourself to fall into a disempowering emotional state by thinking that life is unfair.

Don’t allow yourself to give up.

No matter how dark a period of your life may be, the light is just on its other side. Will you be patient enough to wait for it or will you give up?

How boring would life be if everything went according to plans?

How could we appreciate success without experiencing failure?

How could we appreciate refreshment without experiencing fatigue?

Bottom line: Everything passes, so don’t let challenging periods sabotage your happiness, don’t worry too much; life is too short to be anything but happy.

As the song goes:

Don't worry, it will soon pass whatever it is, don't worry, be happy”.

Let’s enjoy the journey we are on! Life is a beautiful experience and it is precisely the alternation of ups and downs that makes it fascinating.

I will stress the above concepts through an inspirational story.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

cartoon ring with a diamond on the top

Once upon a time, there lived a king.

Depending on external circumstances, he was happy, anxious, or desperate. 

Sick of feeling like a twig at the mercy of events, he decided to summon the wisest subjects of the kingdom and find a solution.

“I want you to provide me with anything that can help me to remain unwavering and stable in times of trouble, lift my spirit in times of misfortune, and keep me balanced in times of success", the king instructed.

The wise men gathered and after a while, they came up with an idea.

They wrote it on a piece of paper, folded it, and handed it to the king.

piece of paper fold in half

Then, they recommended him not to open the piece of paper, and not to read the small note immediately.

“Your Majesty, wait for the moment of need, wait for when there is no other way out”, the men said with one voice. 

The king decided to listen to the wise subjects and place the tiny piece of paper under the diamond housed in its ring.

Before long, his kingdom was invaded and the king was defeated.

He was forced to flee alone with enemies at his heels.

He went into the thick of wood and he took a dead-end street. 

In front of him there was a ravine and to keep moving would have meant falling and dying. 

He couldn’t turn round, it was too late, his enemies had already taken the path he was on.

He felt trapped. There was no way out.

At that very moment, he remembered the small piece of paper.

He pulled it out from the ring and read it.

“THIS TOO SHALL PASS”!

In the beginning, he was puzzled, but the more he read those few words, the more they made sense to him.

He thought to himself: "Until this morning I was ruling. I was safe and protected by my knights. Now, everything is gone. I am here alone, on the verge of a ravine and with enemies chasing me”. 

One more time he read the paper: “This too shall pass”!

While he was reading he heard the enemies stop and linger a short distance from him. 

Little by little the noise became fainter and fainter until he could no longer hear anything close to him.

The enemy army had not seen him and had marched in another direction. 

He was safe.

“As the moment of safety passes, so does the moment of danger", he thought to himself and he read the phrase again: “This too shall pass”.

One year went by and the king managed to rearrange his army and reconquer his kingdom.

He was welcomed by his subjects with great admiration.

People celebrated his success with dances, music, and lots of laughter.

While he was enjoying the celebration, the wise men who had given him the piece of paper said to the king: “This time is also appropriate to read the phrase”.

“Why should I read it? I have regained my kingdom and my people are celebrating my success. I am not dealing with a situation where there is no way out”, the king said.

“This message is not meant to be used only when you are defeated, but also when you are winning.

It’s not meant to be used only when you are the last one, but even when you are the first”, one of the wise men said.

The king, then, pulled the piece of paper out of his ring and read it again: “This too shall pass”!

Suddenly his pride and ego were gone and a sense of peace and calm filled him.

The wise men then said to the king:

“You see, your majesty, nothing is permanent, everything passes.

Live every moment intensely, recognize that life is all about feeling gratitude for what you have, good or bad, knowing that one day this too shall pass."

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Whatever may happen to you tomorrow, I encourage you to remind yourself of this enlightening story.

As the king in the story does, it could be helpful for our journey to keep always with us an object and write on it a reminder: THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

“Everything passes. Joy. Pain. The moment of triumph; the sigh of despair. Nothing lasts forever – not even this”. - Paul Stewart

What stage are you at right now? 

What are you experiencing? 

Are you going through a tough time or with the wind in its sails?

And, above all, how are you responding to the circumstances you are in?

Please let me know in the comment below, I would really like to know about your experience.

What's more, your story may teach all of us something valuable and strike a chord.

Looking forward to reading what stage you are at in your life and how you are dealing with it.

Christian Caliendo
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3 thoughts on “WHY BEING WORRIED IS NOT WORTH”

  1. Beautiful Christian and very true.
    I went through something last year that was a dark time and affected me in a way I could not imagine..
    I kept thinking how will I get past this? , how will I / we move forward?
    As the weeks past, with help from a friend I managed to get up from the darkness I was in.
    The dread of events and certain places that reminded me of the dark time I went through became easier to deal with as I changed how I looked at things .
    Weeks and months ahead became easier to manage, maybe because I was in a better place mentally, emotionally.
    There were times I kept thinking about weeks and months ahead and in my mind thinking of all the reminders and scenarios that could happen and all the emotions that I may feel.
    But a little voice inside me kept saying , “ one step at the time”, I felt calmer as I felt I didn’t have to focus on weeks and months ahead and knew that all I had to do was focus on now and with each day week and month that passed, the way I felt started changing , I became more positive as to how I dealt with it ..
    People including you Christian came into my life that also brought positive happy vibes to my life. Events and places that I once was filled with dread also felt fine because I decided I had to deal with it , face things, be in the present moment instead of thinking about the past and the experience.
    I realised looking back, that if we keep reminding ourselves that soon things will become easier , and take things day by day, step by step that we no longer worry about the future and the what if’s ,
    we just stay present knowing that things will get better , take what we learned from it and keep going , move forward step by step.

    1. Love your comment, Christine.
      Thanks for sharing part of your journey.
      I am so glad to read that you have become better at dealing with situations that once made you feel bad.
      Knowing that depending on how you look at things, you can change your feelings and consequentially your actions and ultimately your results is of pivotal importance; and it seems you have been applying it.
      What’s more, knowing that everything is not permanent, why should we be worried, get stressed, and ultimately hurt ourselves?
      Let’s enjoy the journey both ups and downs that this amazing life offers us. We can always learn something, above all from the most challenging situations we are faced with. It all comes down to how we look at them and how we respond to them.
      “We are all just a work in progress.” — Mary J. Blige

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